Sting: Re-ASS-essed by Slate

"Sting may have given the Police lyrics and melodies; but just as critically, (Stuart) Copeland, who founded the band and whose intricately manic polyrhythms define its sound, prevented Sting from impressing too much of his character on its music. Unyoked from Copeland, Sting was free to become what he is today: one-third spirit in the material world, two-thirds scented candle."

Ouch! And I thought I was tough on Sting. Since I last blogged about his-lutness, he's re-banded with the ol' boys for a swing and a dance at the Grammy's, doing a watered-down version of the overplayed yet brilliant "Roxanne". Bo-ring!

Here's what I wrote back in October '06: Well, maybe if some of the big rock stars out there sang rock music, it wouldn't be so stagnant, Mr. Sting. But no, some egotistical rock stars quit their good band, go on to release whiny white boy reggae/jazz fluff, do commercials for upscale car companies, and brag of sexual prowess, before giving it all up and doing albums of "Dowland lute music". Sting is through with rock and he admits it....finally, 20 years after the fact.

Now, it seems that Sting has changed his mind again and is willing to sing old hits for big dough after all. Maybe he reads my blog? If so, may I suggest starting your next set with "Next to You" or "Can't Stand Losing You" or "So Lonely". I love that album. I wish he'd sing like that again....I mean, if he's doing it for the money, he might as well do the best possible impression of the old Sting (the pre-scented candle Sting).