George Carlin was a genius, and had the greatest grasp of the English language of anyone I've ever seen. He made me think, laugh, question.... once he made me pee in my pants. Some of his bits made me uncomfortable, made me question things that were 'givens'.
Check out the comments in this article, and you'll see how many people hated him because he questioned the status quo. There was a logic in his comedy that Vulcans would appreciate more than Christians. Here are a few quickies from Brainy Quote:
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect.
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
and some from Digital Dream Door:
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
Why is the man (or woman) who invests all your money called a broker?
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
Digg has some raunchier ones (check the link):
Get on the plane. Get on the plane." I say, "***** you, I'm getting IN the plane! IN the plane! Let Evil Knievel get ON the plane! I'll be in here with you folks in uniform! There seems to be less WIND in here!"Here's hoping GC's enjoying Cloud Eight. He's not getting any older!
Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
What year did Jesus think it was?
Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. (side note from watts4u2: I worked for two of these types, they are real.)
Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view.
So far, this is the oldest I’ve been.